"The Life of a Christian Doesn't Guarantee Sunshine and Lollipops"

Actress Patricia Heaton is well-known for playing a harried-but-loving wife and mom who makes us laugh, previously as Debra Barone on “Everybody Loves Raymond” and now as Frankie Heck on the ABC comedy “The Middle.” But it was a tragedy involving her own mother that shaped the Emmy Award winner’s life at an early age.

When Heaton was 12, her mother died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. The resulting emotional and spiritual struggle lasted for years, but Heaton credits her Catholic upbringing with helping her achieve a level of acceptance and peace. On the Christopher Closeup radio show/podcast, she explained, “Many churches (say) if you’re a Christian, you really shouldn’t be suffering. In fact, suffering is a part of the walk, and I think that’s a very important torch the Catholics carry. You get made fun of for it a lot. The nuns always used to say, ‘Just offer it up.’ But it’s important because rain will come into your life and you need to be able to know that God is still there with you despite those problems.”

Knowing that God is with you through struggles is a personal belief of Heaton’s that has also found it’s way into her work, specifically through her role as a producer of the film Amazing Grace, which told the story of William Wilberforce’s efforts to end the slave trade in the British empire. She was introduced to the story by her husband who is British, and drawn to it because Wilberforce’s commitment to solving this social problem was propelled by his Christian faith.

Heaton said, “Probably the only thing that was able to keep him going was his faith because it literally took him forty years . . . And Wilberforce was sort of shunned from society . . . There’s a price to pay and I think that is one of the messages -- you have to be willing to sacrifice everything to follow God and to follow what He’s called you to do.”

(To continue reading, go to http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Patricia-Heaton-The-Lens-of-Faith.html?&showAll=1)

Healing the Hidden Suffering of Infertility

“Infertility is one of the most painful things I have ever seen a couple or woman suffer with,” says Dr. Anne Mielnik, Director and co-founder of Gianna: The Catholic Healthcare Center for Women which opened less than a year ago in New York City. “For most of them, it is a hidden suffering.”

Dr. Mielnik is doing her best to heal that pain, but unlike many doctors, she’s doing it in a way that’s completely pro-life.

In vitro fertilization (IVF) has become the default method by which infertility is treated. Since it involves the creation and sometimes destruction of embryos, it’s morally incompatible with the fact that life begins at conception. That’s where Dr. Mielnik comes in, offering treatment through a relatively new method called NaPro which stands for Natural Procreative Technology.

On the Christopher Closeup radio show/podcast, Dr. Mielnik explained, “NaPro refers to a comprehensive approach to evaluating and treating a woman’s reproductive problems including those that lead to infertility, recurrent miscarriage, pregnancy problems, and other disorders. It then treats the woman in a way that doesn’t shut down her cycle or try to bypass the cycle … We use what originally developed as a natural family planning chart - a woman recording the signs of her fertility—as a diagnostic tool.”

(To continue reading, go to http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/features/a_hidden_kind_of_suffering)

"The Cure for Which Mankind Longs"

"In this time of world crisis brought on by advancing inroads of materialism and godlessness, first-line Christophers have it in their power to snatch faith from disaster if they can be found in sufficiently large numbers to carry Christ into the marketplace."

Father James Keller, M.M. who founded The Christophers sixty-five years ago wrote those words then, but their relevance holds true today.

To continue reading, go to http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/Cure-for-Which-Mankind-Longs.html

"She is Far More a Blessing to Us Than We Are to Her"

(Cross-posted at the "Christopher Closeup" blog)

21-year-old Haylee Cain, feeling alone and hopeless, lay in her bed in an Alabama nursing home for senior citizens. She didn’t yet know that an article written by journalist Michelle Eubanks from “The Times Daily” newspaper would soon change her life in a dramatic way.

Haylee was afflicted with a form of cerebral palsy that produced a lot of spasticity in her arms and legs. She wasn’t able to stand and had limited use of her hands. Though she had previously lived with her grandfather, his own health problems resulted in him not being able to care for her anymore. Haylee ended up in the nursing home of infirm senior citizens because Alabama has no state agency for people 21 or older “who suffer from physical, rather than intellectual, disabilities.” Though Haylee struggled with her body, her mind was sharp.

One day, Michelle Eubanks from Florence, AL, “The Times Daily” got in touch with Haylee because she wanted to write a story about the disadvantage faced by people with strictly physical handicaps. Though reluctant to be interviewed, Haylee agreed to Michelle’s request thinking it might help others who found themselves in similar dire straits.

The morning Michelle’s article was published, Tuscumbia, AL, resident Judson Emens brought the newspaper to his wife Donna and showed her the picture accompanying the story. “Do you know who that is?” he asked. Stunned, Donna happily exclaimed, “That’s our Haylee-bug!”

It turns out that when Haylee was five-years-old, Donna was her aide in the Head Start program. She recalled on the “Christopher Closeup” radio show/podcast, “(Haylee) was absolutely the brightest spot in anybody’s day! She was so full of life and love.”

Haylee often spent weekends and holidays with the Emens who came to love the girl’s unconquerable spirit. When Haylee eventually moved to Texas to live with extended family, Donna lost touch with her. She had recently heard through the grapevine that Haylee was back in Alabama. Though she desperately wanted to re-connect with her, she couldn’t because of privacy laws. The newspaper story was an answer to Donna’s prayers.

Donna discovered that Haylee’s nursing home was only 10 minutes away from her home so she rushed over to visit. She said, “When (Haylee) saw me she started screaming, “Mama-bear!’ because that’s what she used to call me. I just started crying, I couldn’t help it. She was laying there so pitifully…She said, ‘Mom, I don’t belong behind these walls. I belong out there.’ And when she said that to me, I knew immediately that I was going to have to do something…When I came home, I was crying and my husband said, ‘How was it?’ And I said, ‘I just wanted to scoop her up and bring her home with me.’ His very next words were, ‘Go get her.’”

Though the intention was good, Donna realized it wouldn’t be that easy. She and Judson were already in the process of adopting a 3-year-old girl named Nadia who they’d taken in when she was 4-months-old. Donna also held a job she loved at a cancer center. Their house was small and not particularly handicap-friendly. But as Donna said, “It just all started coming together. We prayed about it, we talked about it…We knew that if we didn’t bring her home with us that she was eventually going to be so depressed that I didn’t know if she would come out of it or not.”

When asked where she got the courage to take someone with physical challenges and mobility issues into her home, Donna responded, “From God. God inspired my life with my brother who was Down Syndrome. He died five years ago at age 48. All my life, he has been the light of my life. I think God putting him in our lives helped us to realize that it’s good to help other people with needs.”

The Emens’ lives have become more physically demanding since welcoming Haylee into their home because she needs to be lifted up or carried. “It’s a lot of physical activity,” says Donna who left her job to care for Haylee full time. “It just so happens that my husband and I have strong backs and strong arms and we’re very willing to do this for her.”

A special van that could accommodate Haylee’s electric wheelchair would be a big help. The spasticity in her legs causes her to shake a lot, but her electric wheelchair keeps her muscles and legs steadier. Donna and Judson’s cars can only accommodate a manual wheelchair, however, so it makes going places more problematic. Locals have set up a fund to raise money for the vehicle.

Living with the Emens has done wonders for Haylee’s physical condition and spirits. Whereas before, she couldn’t stand on her own or feed herself, she is now improving in both those areas. She also has a laptop and cell phone which she uses to communicate with friends. More importantly, Haylee has a new goal in life. Donna explains, “She wants to be a motivational speaker, and I really want her to because she is such a good speaker. She has a story and people need to hear it.”

Though the Emens are focused on both Haylee and their adopted daughter Nadia, they’re keeping an eye on the bigger picture too. In January, they plan a trip to Montgomery, Alabama to see if they can get some laws changed so physically-handicapped people have better options than being placed in nursing homes like Haylee was.

In thinking back over everything that’s transpired over the last few months, Donna concludes, “I knew she was going to bless us, but I didn’t have a clue she was going to bless us like she does. She is far more a blessing to us than we are to her. She brings joy and laughter. And you know, it’s a lot of work but it is so much fun!”

(To listen to Donna's full interview, visit www.christophers.org/closeuppodcast)

Lighting a Candle Instead of Cursing the Darkness

If you haven't already checked out the new "Christopher Closeup" blog (which I tend to update more frequently than this one), head on over right now so you can read interviews with people like Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy (the real-life couple played by Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw in "The Blind Side") discussing the power of cheerful giving; singer/songwriter Audrey Assad discussing her struggles with God and the challenge of feeling like a "misfit soul" when growing up; and Julie Woodley, a sexual abuse victim who now helps others in similar situations through a program called "Restoring the Heart Ministries." We also run contests from time to time where we give away free stuff so be sure to subscribe to the blog or bookmark it so you don't miss a thing. Again it's at http://www.christophers.org/closeupblog.

In other news, my friend Danielle Bean (who's also featured at the blog) has written a post about "The Girls With Glasses Show," an Internet show starring "American Idol's" Brooke White and Eliza Magazine's Summer Bellessa. As Danielle writes, "What I really like about The Girls With Glasses and their show is that they demonstrate that girls don’t have to sell their dignity to be entertaining. Girls can be smart, funny, pretty, and cool without taking their clothes off or even getting drunk on TV." Read the whole thing and watch the Girls' clever & funny video satire about TV execs trying to get good girls to go bad.

Finally, you should also check out the 3 winning videos in The Christophers' 23rd annual Video Contest for College Students. They're truly outstanding stories about selfless, compassionate people who are making the world a better place - specifically, a young cancer survivor studying to be a scientist so he can help others with the disease, a priest who runs an orphanage for disabled children and adults in the Philippines, and a woman in Pennsylvania who runs a homeless shelter for women in need. These videos will leave you feeling good about your own potential to make a difference in the world so take a few minutes to be inspired!

TonyRossiBlogger@gmail.com

Creating Better Media

I recently contributed a short essay to a site called Patheos.com which offers insights into all the world's major religions. My topic dealt with the problem of people writing off popular culture instead of trying to transform it for the better from the inside. To read my take, go here.

"American Idols" Show Class and Gratitude

On Friday July 9, I went to see the 2010 Top Ten "American Idol" contestants perform on "Good Morning America" at Central Park's Summerstage. While the performances were great, I was more impressed by the performers themselves who were all very friendly in their interactions with the fans. The two I would single out especially are Crystal Bowersox and Didi Benami. Because I have 2 friends who work for GMA, I was lucky enough to get backstage and meet a few of the singers. It also allowed me to observe what people are like once the cameras stop rolling. A young girl accompanied by her grandfather was in a scaffolded area under the stage hoping to talk to and get autographs from Crystal & Didi. Both Crystal and Didi literally had to get on their hands and knees to interact with this young fan and sign her pictures. They did it happily and with genuine appreciation. It was a very classy thing to do and a sign they truly appreciate the opportunity they've been given and the people who support them.

The Afterlife of "Lost"

Rarely, if ever, has a television show dealt with religious and spiritual themes as extensively and maturely as ABC's "Lost" which ended its six year run on Pentecost Sunday with an episode that was profoundly transcendent. On the surface, the series dealt with a group of plane crash survivors who landed on a mysterious, mystical island with a mythology that grew more complex each season. But at its heart, "Lost" told character-driven stories that explored themes like the possibility that human beings can find redemption from past sins.

The series finale addressed that theme again, but in a slightly different way – specifically, from the perspective of death and the afterlife. Apparently, this ending has left a number of people confused and, in some cases, dissatisfied. It was revealed that the Flash-sideways story device employed this season actually took place in a Purgatory-type realm in which the souls of the characters needed to work out their redemption by remembering and ultimately letting go of their past.

After experiencing their awakenings, the characters (or their souls, actually) all gather in a church in order to take the final step into eternal life together. Jack Shephard, the doctor who becomes the primary hero of the story by sacrificing his life to keep hell from being unleashed, is the last character to discover the truth in the Sideways world. The soul of his father explains to him that the realm they're in exists outside of space and time - "Everyone dies some time, kiddo. Some of them before you, some of them long after you...There is no now here."

Some viewers are misreading the full group being there together as meaning they all died at the same time, that the entire series took place in Purgatory because they were dead the entire time. Christian's words clearly dispel that theory. There's also the fact that Hurley and Ben in the Sideways world reminisce about the period where they protected the island. That experience was a part of their real lives that they remembered in their awakenings so that again points to the reality that the island timeline was real and that others escaped the island alive (Sawyer, Kate, Clare, Miles, Lapidus, Richard and Desmond).

So what exactly does this ending in which everyone is dead really mean? When the castaways arrived on the island, they were, as Jacob described them, "alone." They were emotionally-crippled, lost souls without any genuine human connections. But through the love and responsibility they exhibited toward each other, they were able to grow as human beings and fulfill their real natures - to move past the tragedies, mistakes and obsessions that haunted them and eventually arrive in a state of grace. In fact, there was a promo for "Lost" before this final season began that was edited to Willie Nelson singing "Amazing Grace." For me, the lyrics in that song "I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see" explains the process of what happened in the Sideways/Purgatory world and over the course of the series. Grace builds on nature. As such, the castaways became a means of each others salvation.

The communal aspect of the final scene in the church also resolves one of the story's earliest conflicts. In the first season after everyone is trying to adjust to surviving the island soonafter the crash, there are personality clashes and arguments about how best to run things. It gets to the point where Jack addresses the large group of castaways saying, "Every man for himself is not going to work...If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone." That's exactly what this group of loners learned to do over six seasons - live, love, sacrifice, and sometimes die together. And it makes all the difference. Because as their souls are ready to step into the final stage of the afterlife, they do it as a community. Learning to live together in their earthly lives resulted in their stepping into eternal life together too. As Christian Shephard explains, “The most important part of your life was the time you spent with these people. That's why you're all here. Nobody does it alone, Jack: you needed all of them, and they needed you ... to let go."

The notion of letting go leads me to another aspect of this Purgatory which doesn’t leave everyone with the happy ending the castaways achieve. The Sideways/Purgatory world is somewhat reminiscent of the afterlife created by C.S. Lewis in his book "The Great Divorce" in which dead souls can gain entrance to heaven if they let go of elements from their earthly pasts that are holding them back from fully loving God. For instance, one "Bright Spirit" from heaven tries to talk a mother whose son died years ago to let go of her grief and anger so she can see him in heaven. The mother refuses saying, "You are heartless...The past was all I had." The Bright Spirit responds, "It was all you chose to have. It was the wrong way to deal with a sorrow." In other words, the very normal grief she felt after losing him became the core of who she was to the point that the resentment holds more sway over her than the opportunity to see her son again. Another Spirit later explains, "Every natural love will rise again and live forever in this country: but none will rise again until it has been buried."

This exchange reminds me of Eloise Hawking in the Sideways world. She appears to understand where she is and discourages Desmond from pursuing knowledge about the flashes that will make him realize he's dead because she knows that her son Daniel will then leave her. So instead of valuing Daniel's eternal happiness and maybe even joining him, Eloise prefers to possess him in the in-between world. Unlike Hurley & Libby or Sawyer & Juliet who remember their human love for each other and allow it to move them on toward something greater, Eloise is like the mother in Lewis’ story. She chooses stagnancy over growth, an earthly possessiveness over a higher love.


Of course, there’s someone who’s even worse off than Eloise: Anthony Cooper. It’s a Christian belief that God doesn't send people to hell; we send ourselves to hell by choosing to separate ourselves from the love and will of God. The one denizen of the Sideways/Purgatory world that appears to fit that bill is Anthony Cooper, John Locke's con-man father who was responsible for paralyzing him and who led Sawyer's father to shoot his own wife and then himself. One of the few characters who never demonstrated any redemptive qualities, Cooper is locked in a stroke-like frozen state, seemingly forever. Interestingly, in Dante's Inferno, the denizens of the 9th circle of hell are depicted as being frozen in a lake of blood and guilt. The choices Anthony Cooper made in his real life have left him with much blood on his hands. He also died unrepentant, so that final act of defiance against the natural moral law appears to have caught up with him here.

In the end - though the series ended showing everyone eventually dead - it can still be considered a happy ending from a Christian perspective. The main characters that viewers grew to love all lived their lives in a manner that will allow them to spend eternity together in heaven. Endings don’t get any happier than that.

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TonyRossiBlogger@gmail.com

Brooke White on "Christopher Closeup"

I recently had the opportunity to interview Brooke White on "Christopher Closeup."

In Part 1 of our interview she discussed her album High Hopes and Heartbreak, her struggle with self-confidence issues, how prayer is her anchor during times of stress, and why she’s come to see the challenges in her life as blessings. You can listen at http://www.christophers.org/americanidol